I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive just to drive that sucker before they become extinct…

The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options.

The seats were of particular interest.  He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

I stated the car must be a Republican car.

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained that if it were a Democrat car,  the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership.

1) Good:
A Knoxville, TN policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders,
But wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A
Twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign,
Which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD”. The officer then found a young
Accomplice down the road with a sign reading “TIPS” . . . And a bucket
Full of money. (And we kids used to just sell lemonade!)

2) Better:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an
Automated radar post in Nashville, TN. A $40 speeding ticket was
Included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of
$40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

3) Absolute Best:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Tennessee
State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book,
She said, “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the State
Troopers Ball.” He replied “Tennessee State Troopers don’t have
Balls.” There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized
What he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol
Car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car…….

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she’s very good at them.

Mum said: ” YOU should say NO – they only want to look at your undies”.

Susie said: ” I know they do that’s why I hide them in my backpack”!!

Dear Lord, can you imagine? LOL