1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

5. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

6. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

9. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

11. Was learning cursive really necessary?

12. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

13. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

14. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters !

15. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

16. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

17. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

18. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

19. Bad decisions and bad experiences make good stories

20. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

21. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

22. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

23. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

24. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

25. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

26. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

27. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

28. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

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