Dear Momma Bird,

You should be ashamed of yourself. Yesterday, you and your hubby were in my front yard screaming your beaks off.

To my surprise, I found your toddler in my flower bed. I tried to rescue him, but you started to lose your little bird brain. How hard is it to grab him by the scruff and haul his rebellious butt back to the nest? Hmmm…maybe because he is rebellious you actually PUSHED the little guy out of the nest. Now, I understand kids can be a pain, but pushing and shoving are entirely unnecessary!

Any birdbrain…Momma, you didn’t like me (okay it was actually Hubby) trying to save your little man, but when my puppy encased him perfectly in his MOUTH, you decided that maybe the humans weren’t so bad. My super sweet bird rescuing hero of a hubby scooped up Junior and placed him in the neighbors flower beds where he would be safe.

All day today I have been listening to SCREAMS. Surely it’s not mating season. I mean, my goodness, you already have one toddler you can’t take care of. Earlier I stepped out to check my mailbox. Naturally, I took Puppy with me. Oh dear…he sees your offspring AGAIN. Now look, I don’t have time to take care of your kid. Clearly, you need to discipline him. Send him to his nest and tell him to stay off my property.

Unfortunately, as I proceeded inside, I caught a glimpse of your brat. He is menacingly sitting on the ledge of the window to my study. He tries to look helpless, but I’m sure it’s a plot to peck me to death. This time, I grabbed my camera and took photos. I have evidence Momma. I will show the authorities! They will see what a lousy mother you are.

I’m really not that heartless (okay, I’m only sometimes heartless)…but Junior is causing great disruption to my peaceful home. I have FOUR felines who have been peering at your boy all day. To make matters worse, they are EYE to EYE with Junior and it’s driving my babies out of their catnipped brains. Should I even mention the fact that they are chattering their teeth? Good heavens, that’s like putting a chocolate cake in front of Fat Albert and telling him he can’t take a bite. You can be cruel to your kids…but I draw the line on you being cruel to mine (that’s for my enjoyment only)!

Momma Bird, please take your off-spring and return to where ever you came from. I cannot find a nest anywhere. Frankly, you are an adult…don’t you know the way home? Hmmm…maybe you aren’t Momma. Maybe you are Daddy and won’t ask for directions. This explains everything.

Be gone. My cats keep rattling the blinds against the window and it’s disrupting my nap!

This week’s theme – “The Eyes Have It”

Meet my handsome hubby…AKA Studsickle. He’s gonna kill me for writing that! I really do love his pretty green eyes. Such a peaceful man and I get lost staring at him. Yes, we are still ‘honeymooners’ after 8 years. Go ahead and gag…our friends and family do!

This weeks theme – “The Eyes Have It”

Every mother thinks her daughter is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen…this photo is just proof that I’m not completely biased!

This weeks theme for pets…ANYTHING goes!

This is my sweet Chase, our King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Sounds really cool, huh? It really translates into one affectionate puppy.

Cuz we don’t call him a D-O-G. (gasp!)